thoughts that i have been trying to put into words for the past nearly 4 years.
there is no point pining after them or hoping it can be how it was again. we have both moved on and had other partners since. he's found others who have made him happy and so have i.
i regret leaving him when i did and who for. they turned out to be even worse than the guy before the boy im mainly on about. i think i was not only young but genuinely did not believe i was deserving of the happiness this main boy, cp for reference, gave to me.
i wish i had done his 72+ hours worth of time with him. i wish i had stopped worrying about what the future would hold for us because it would have worked itself out.
i wish i had kissed him more, hugged his huge and gorgeous arms more as well as lay within them. im going to be completely honest i wish i had had sex with him, not only once but more. just more and more and more. not to be like "oooh look at me" but to actually be in the most vulnerable state a human being can be and share with another, and to have shared that with him. i know he would have made me feel extremely comfortable and beautiful throughout the whole thing.
he is such a good natured man. he is so passionate about what he does and it make me feel so proud and admirable towards him. he honestly still gives me that happy buzz when he messages me or compliments me, i just crave his words. i love that we can still wind each other up and take the piss. we always had a very bantering relationship.
101 days with you wasn't near enough. but my god were those 101 days good.
i know most of things were my fault, we both had flaw but i take the responsibility of being a twat, he did not ever deserve that. and i just hope we can sit down together one day, with a drink together, and have a hug and look back on the vast amount of good memories we shared.
i always will hold a special place in my heart for him. its literally like wanting something to happen with someone you can't be with. i hope he really is doing well. and anyone in the world is lucky to know him or be with him for he truly is a precious soul

• flump x

Shunned from the world, I call the woods my home. I dare not travel out of the forest for fear of the cruelty and hostility civilization has given me everytime I show myself.
All my life they called me a monster and the word wounds me. All I want is what anyone wants: to live, to love and to be loved. But these hopes have been stripped from me so I instead seek isolation, free from the persecutions of humans.
My tattered and ill fitting garbs are crudely made leather that I created myself. But they suit me fine because out here, alone, I don’t have anyone to impress.
It has been years since I last tended to my mighty mane, the tragedy of life has eroded any semblance of vanity I may have once had. Whenever I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the water, I slap it, ruining the image that caused so many nightmares. There is nothing I can do to change it, otherwise I would gladly do so.
At night I sit in my makeshift home of mud and rotten logs that I gathered. In this poor excuse for shelter I huddle around a fire and wish I had someone to share it with. This wish is not different from self-inflicted abuse because there is no one who would love a creature like me.
During the day, I forage for food. Leafy greens and berries mostly because I don't eat meat. The animals I share these woods with are like my friends. They do not judge and have grown accustomed to me being here. How long has that been, I cannot say, only that it has been too many winters to count.
From time to time people come to my woods and I avoid them the best I can. Despite my size I am very good at not being seen if I don't want to be. Occasionally people catch a glimpse of me, word of mouth has spread and I've become an urban legend. An oddity. Another wounding word, but better than most I have been called.
When people do enter my territory, I like to watch them and pretend I am like them. One of the pretty ones. The ugly ones. Anything other than the monster that I resemble.
This childlike dream of mine died one fateful day as I was eavesdropping on a young couple as they were struggling to set up camp. There was no malicious intent as I spied on them, I was just lonely and wanted to live vicariously and pretend I was like them.
It was the woman who saw me first and she screamed “monster” as she pointed at me before running away. Her mate followed closely behind.
As they ran I felt embarrassed that I was seen and ashamed for the body I am condemned to live in. I felt this way all my life, but unlike every other moment in my painful existence, this time was different because there was something else behind those emotions.
Perhaps for the first time, I felt anger. Anger towards the humans for making me feel that way all my life and I knew that I had to destroy the source of these feelings.
I needed to kill the two who fled at the sight of me.
I caught up to the man first. Killing him was easy. I bent low and snatched him by the leg, swinging him at nearby trees before tearing off his head with my clawed hands. Feeling his body break numbed my anger, shame and embarrassment with something that I had never felt before: satisfaction.
Dark urges took hold of me, making me lick his blood off of my claws and the coppery taste woke up a long dormant part in me, something primal, feral and cruel. The blood of my victims also killed the last morsel of remorse I harbored for the humans and the way they made me feel all my life.
That feeling of satisfaction disappeared as soon as I identified it. The man died too quickly for there to be any real lasting joy from the act of killing him.
Thankfully, the woman offered me another chance to savor that feeling.
She didn't stand a chance at escape as she ran, but I let her believe that she had one. Denying her escape at the last possible second would be preferable than outright killing her.
As she ran, zig zagging through the trees, I nearly laughed at those efforts. As I swiped at her with my clawed hands, I did so almost playfully. Droplets of her mates blood splattering her back.
She panted and begged to her God to be spared as she ran, but if she wanted forgiveness she wouldn't have screamed. She wouldn't have ran. She wouldn't have been a part of the world that called me a monster.
Her terrified screams made me smile as they reached a crescendo as my claws slashed her back, reducing the shirt she wore to ribbons.
It was the first time I remember ever having a reason to smile.
My mighty hands engulfed the woman and I lifted her off the ground. I turned her around to look at me and a primal scream ripped its way out of my throat.
“You no hurt me again!”
Her expression was pure terror and I soaked it all in, but as soon I saw a shimmer of confusion creep its way on her face, I lifted her high above me and ripped her in half.
Her blood acted as a shower and as a baptism. I was reborn by it. Cleaned by it. Cleaned of being an unwilling outsider. Cleansed of being a proverbial punching bag.
I became what they always called me.
I have become a monster.
WAE

One of the biggest challenges I personally have is always comparing myself to my friends/old classmates. Many of my buddies are married, have houses, kids, stable jobs, etc. However for me, I feel like I’m years behind them. I’ve been working at the local grocery store for over 6 years to help me pay for my college classes and I’m still there. While I don’t necessarily hate it, seeing a lot of my old coworkers moving on while I’m stuck there is getting to me and my mental integrity. I am so happy for my friends to have a successful life but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t envious. Constantly being told “Oh, you’ll find something, just keep on applying” has become a phrase I just dread hearing nowadays because of how long I’ve been trying to find a job out of college. I don’t have funds to move across the country and relocate, and I prefer to not relocate in general since all of my family is still around this area and they are my support system. I honestly wouldn’t be where I am without them.
I graduated in May 2021 with a BS in Computer Networking and Cybersecurity with fairly good grades but I haven’t been able to land any IT jobs for two years now due to experience. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to get any internships in my area due to graduating during the Covid pandemic, so I wasn’t able to gain any in-office/in-person experience before graduation. I’ve been applying to anything I could find in my general area, and had a decent amount of interviews, but constantly being told I’m the “#2 choice” in many job decisions and not landing the job is getting soul crushing. I did, however, land a remote customer service job at a local company a few months ago but I ultimately decided to leave it because it wasn’t a fit for me. I was having trouble sleeping and was constantly worrying about my performance due to lack of supervision and training. I know I should’ve stuck it out for experience but I really just couldn’t do it… I know this probably hurts my chances even more to secure an actual IT job but I stand by my decision.
I’m beginning to think “my purpose” isn’t actually IT at this rate but I have no idea what other jobs I should even try applying for. I really love the hands on, security, and troubleshooting aspect of IT because it’s why I went to college in the first place. However, I dislike customer service and want to just work on something without much interactions. Remote jobs are competitive and hard to come by as it is. Should I just “keep on applying” to the ocean of applications or pivot to a different field that would give an IT degree a chance?

In a very (not planned) poetic fashion, it's quite fitting my Switch Xenoblade journey concluded the same way it started, with XC2 and it's world. And after XC3 left me somewhat disappointed/frustrated as a follow up to XC1 and 2, Torna felt like a much needed final note in my mind, to remind me of what a Great Xenoblade game can be. Probably my favourite of all 3 games extra/DLC Stories
I was a bit scared of going back, as I was not sure if the combat would feel like a step back. Yet I honestly think I like this combat more than XC3. Despite technically having only 3 party members, each member is basically compressed into 3 characters and swapping between them for combos + cancelling felt really good. The only thing that I feel it's sorely missing to make the combat perfect, is the ability to switch between "main" party members in Battle, as there still some stuff that I just don't trust the AI to pull of consistently. Cycling between characters in XC3 in the chaos of battle can be more confusing due to having 6 separate party members to go through, so something like we see in Torna of "1 member = 3 characters" could be a great way to streamline those minor woes... But Alas ... To Xenoblade bread and Butter!
Like in XC1 (which I did not expect to kick off as a revenge story), surprised out of the gate, as I thought Addam would be the protagonist. Instead Lora/Jin take center and their relation and story is a treat to watch (Jin exploring his "mortality" as Blade felt specially interesting, as we all know how's that gonna end...). Addam himself not quite what I expected (in a good way), as a more sensitive, somewhat insecure guy, and at times fearful of the type of power that his Blade, Mythra, has. All mixed with a very likable cast of new and returning characters.
The overhaul Story pulls no punches either. with the game telling one of my favourite type of stories, ones where you know out of the gate, that there is not gonna be a happy ending, but you can make sure the Devs are gonna make you care about this characters so you'll be dreading those fast approaching final moments... And despite me being spoiled about the type of stuff that was gonna go down at the End, that whole sequence still hit me like a truck (which it speaks to how well done the whole thing was). Mythtra going ham on Malos after Auresco is destroyed, Torna crumbling under the Fight between them, Traumatized Mythra just breaking at the sight of the now dead Milton and turning into Pyra (and many others that set up nicely future struggles, but this post is long enough)
Here's the final kicker... All this is condensed into a 30 hour(ish) experience, and other than in length, it doesn't feel any lesser for it and works great as standalone title. If anyone ever comes to me curious about Xenoblade but feels nervous about the time these games can occupy this is the game I would recommend to them to see if they like it
PS: Now I'm in quite a, definitely 1st world, pickle... I have Zelda TotK on the shelve waiting to be opened... But goddam I kinda really want to replay XC2 with Torna fresh on my mind

I'm looking for a fertile woman, preferably younger than me, who is desperate to be bred. I know you become a cum-obsessed slut when you're ovulating...

TLDR: A coworker who has a long history of bullying me and making my work environment difficult has given me a gorgeous handmade baby blanket. I have no idea what to do with it. Am I crazy?
​
Ok crochet friends, I am in a weird position. I have a coworker who I strongly dislike. Sometimes she is perfectly pleasant but other times she is a huge bully. She constantly criticizes everyone we work with behind their back and to their face. She is taking a new assignment in September and I was planning on having a party to celebrate her departure. Unrelated to this, I am expecting my first child, also in September.
I knew that this coworker did not dislike me even though I disliked her. But on Friday I was arrived at work and there was a package at my desk. She had made me the most beautiful baby blanket that I have ever seen. I crochet and she knits, but even with the difference in craft I can tell this is a very impressive piece of work. She said she had been working on it since she found out I was pregnant in February. She normally only makes hats and socks because she hates big projects. 3 other coworkers have been pregnant since we started working together and she made one hat for one of the three babies. I had no idea how to react. I thanked her of course, and I gushed about how amazing the blanket was. If anyone else had given me such a gift, I would have been much more effusive about what it meant to me. But I think I handled it pretty well, I was certainly not rude.
Here is my problem. I really don't like this coworker. I find that even when she is in a good mood she has this menacing presence that unsettles me. I'm normally only a slight believer in things like vibes and juju, but I feel very mixed emotions about having this blanket near my baby. I do think she made this out of an appreciation for me, which surprises me. I don't know if her positive intentions outweigh all the negativity she has brought into my life. I don't know what I am going to do with the blanket. Would love to hear opinions of what you all would do in this situation. Totally fine if you wanna tell me I'm bonkers and a blanket is a blanket. Totally fine if you want to give me ideas to for how to cleanse the blanket of its creator's aura. Please let me know!

Hello! I am moving to CPH from abroad for my studies, having never visited CPH before. I am considering housing near Fuglebakken station, which seems to border Frederiksberg, Nørrebro and Nordvest. I am studying in Frederiksberg so it is very conveniently located for me.
Can anyone give me insight on what living in this area is like? Is it safe? Quiet? Close to fun things to do?
Tak!

I'm looking for a fertile woman, preferably younger than me, who is desperate to be bred. I know you become a cum-obsessed slut when you're ovulating...

[27F] 5'10" 150 lbs.
So far I have experienced this 3 times- about once a year for 3 years now. The symptoms go like this:
-start losing vision in my right eye with geometric lines and blurriness. peripheral and central vision has varied, but if I cover my right eye, I can see out of my left.
-after about 5-10 mins I begin to develop a migraine in the left side of my head, usually feels like it is in the left central side of my brain. (like deep in my brain, not near the surface).
Notes- I have never suffered from migraines or even head aches. I smoke weed on the weekends, and drink 2-3 drinks socially maybe every other weekend. I go the the gym and lift weight 3 times/week consistently since October 2022. I am not taking any medication currently. I stopped taking hormonal birth control over 1 year ago. I wear contacts daily with a strong prescription, but am up to date with my yearly eye exam.
The 1st time this happened, I was at work, took ibuprofen, and got a ride to urgent care. The doctor confirmed I wasn't having a stroke and told me I was okay to go home and rest. The 2nd time I was at home relaxing, took advil, and called out of work. The 3rd time I was at the gym lifting weights, took whatever pain reliever they had in their first aid kit, and got a ride home. The ibuprofen/advil both help the symptoms go away within the hour, but leaves me feeling low in energy for the rest of the day.
The reason this concerns me more this year is because in the past couple of months, I have been told that I am repeating myself and I have caught multiple instance of short term memory loss. I have also noticed a pressure sensation in my head that feels almost like moving liquid, 4 different times, and all 4 times I am laying down at home relaxed.
I don't have a ton of money for diagnostics, but have gotten a CT scan done on my sinuses before that was covered by insurance and only cost me $80. Hoping maybe that would rule out anything crazy?
I plan to call and make an appointment Tuesday, but I would like to know what diagnostics would you want to run? Or what further info would be helpful to my case?

About me: 38, attorney, attentive, intelligent, and sensual. Also tall and have a great head of hair.
About you: smart, nubile, and libidinous. Sweet but with a naughty side. Hopefully looking for something exclusive. Ideally located near me...

Hi, I’m new to Bangalore and interested to learn swimming. I’m in search of good swimming academy near Indira nagar, Banaswadi, CV raman nagar, Byrasandra area. Please help me with the suggestions 🙏🏼

Why Goa Is A Popular Summer Adventure Destination ?
If you're looking for an adventure near me, then look no further than Goa. In this article, we'll take a closer look at the itinerary of this exciting adventure trip.

Introduction

Goa is a popular summer adventure destination in India that offers a mix of adventure sports and cultural experiences.Universal Adventures offers a summer adventure trip to Goa that includes adventure treks, ATV adventures near me, and cultural tours.
With Universal Adventures, you can go on an adventure trip to Goa that includes kayaking, paddleboarding, parasailing, snorkeling, scuba diving, jet skiing, and cultural tours.

Day 1: Arrival in Goa

On the first day of the trip, you will arrive in Goa and be picked up from the airport by Universal Adventures' team. You will be transferred to your hotel where you will receive a welcome drink and an introduction to the adventure trip. You will have free time to explore the beach and nearby areas.

Day 2: Adventure activities in North Goa

The second day of the trip will include adventure activities in North Goa. After breakfast at the hotel, you will visit the Aguada Fort and then go kayaking and paddleboarding at the Nerul River. You will have lunch at a local restaurant before going parasailing at the Baga Beach. You will return to the hotel for dinner.

Day 3: Adventure activities in South Goa

The third day of the trip will include adventure activities in South Goa. After breakfast at the hotel, you will visit the Cabo de Rama Fort and then go snorkeling and scuba diving at the Palolem Beach. You will have lunch at a local restaurant before going jet skiing at the Colva Beach. You will return to the hotel for dinner.

Day 4: Cultural tour of Goa

The fourth day of the trip will be a cultural tour of Goa. After breakfast at the hotel, you will visit the Basilica of Bom Jesus and then tour the Mangeshi Temple. You will have lunch at a local restaurant before visiting the Se Cathedral. You will return to the hotel for dinner.

Day 5: Departure from Goa

On the last day of the trip, you will have breakfast at the hotel and check-out. Universal Adventures' team will transfer you to the airport for your departure from Goa.

Conclusion

Goa is an excellent destination for adventure treks, atv adventures near me, and cultural tours. With Universal Adventures, you can go on an adventure trip to Goa that includes kayaking, paddleboarding, parasailing, snorkeling, scuba diving, jet skiing, and cultural tours. Book your trip today and go on an adventure you'll never forget.

I recently went digging around in some older anime fic (circa 2008ish), and I was struck by 1) the number of Japanese words and phrases therein and 2) how much each instance took me out of the reading experience.
Here's some more context:
I've been off and on active in fandom since I was a teenager in the late 90s. Nearly all of my first online fan experiences surrounded Japanese media (Pokemon, Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z). During my young fandom days, I remember it being a common practice to sprinkle fics and written communication with 20 or 30 some-odd Japanese words and phrases. I remember the suffix -tachi being widely used in the Pokemon fandom, for instance, and chikyuu making a frequent appearance in the Sailor Moon fandom.
Other common interlopers included baka/bakayaro, minna, ohayo, ningen (often misspelled and sometimes mistaken for ninjin), gomen, chibi, mirai, neko, etc.
Being young and a bit of a weeb, I thought this questionable usage of the Japanese language was not only good, but made the fic in question more authentic or something. When using them myself, I also felt that I had a certain amount of "street cred," as it were.
These days, I'm happy to report that the Japanese-media-based fandoms I'm involved in have largely given up this Japanese-words-for-no-reason trend. This is much so that when I now try to read 90s-00s fic seeing it jars my suspension of disbelief a bit.
I'm not writing this to say all Japanese word/usage is bad--fandoms that are clearly set in Japan or have distinctly identified Japanese characters (I'd argue that Evangelion and Sailor Moon fit this bill, but Pokemon doesn't) and certain uses that extend beyond fandom (Chibi Moon, Mirai Trunks) are fine. Even then, though, I think a "less is more" approach is best. Ideally, there should be a reason for all your word choices, not just the Japanese ones.
I have a couple questions: 1) Do you agree or disagree with my conclusions? I'm not the language police, and I'd be interested in any respectful discussion. 2) Are there still fandoms where this is commonplace? 3) When did the random Japanese usage fall out of favor (assuming there was a change)? My guess is around the time when the concept of weeaboo was a part of the zeitgeist, but if you have other insights I'd be interested in hearing them. 4) Are there any of the above or similar terms that you particularly like or dislike? 5) I think it's similarly jarring when American terms are used in British fanworks and vice versa. What are your thoughts there? 6) I can't think of any fandoms that I am involved in currently that aren't specifically Japanese, British, or American (in typing that, I realized I definitely need to broaden my fannish interests). Are there similar things happening or not in fandoms originating from other countries/languages (K-Pop, Miraculous Ladybug, etc.)?

I wad told I needed to find a Hebra cave, so I went to the blossom tree and gave fruit. I went to every cave it marked and it wasn't the right one. I happened to find an NPC in an odd spot and they told me about a near by cave. It was what I was looking for. I don't trust that system now. Late game people will know what cave I mean.

Hey everyone, I’m really at my wits end, I’ve tried to research as much as I could but I could really use some help at this point in the process..
Objective:
I’m basically trying to build a NAS to:

1. put all my data (currently on a bunch of 2.5” externals), and have it be something me and my family can access over the internet. Primarily movies and tv shows, PLEX / jellyfin server, but also as a network drive for file access for photos and docs
2. I would also like to be able to do things like run a torrent client on the NAS remotely, to download files, but also to seed, as i don’t have a desktop
3. maybe have it transcode media before serving it if that’s possible? (the movies can be up to 60gig remuxes, and the devices accessing them will be basic laptops and TVs) - low priority
4. I’d also probably want to run a virtual machine on it, but i haven’t done any further research on what that would entail.

Tentative build:

1. Processor - Intel I5 12400
2. Motherboard - ASRock Z690 Steel Legend Motherboard
3. Ram - Corsair vengeance lpx OR Patriot Memory Viper Steel; both DDR4 64GB (2 x 32GB) 3200 - 3600MHz
4. Cabinet - Silverstone CS380 ATX Mid Tower Case SST-CS380B - this is one of the only ones with 8 HDD bays in the front - hot swappable
5. Graphics - currently nothing, just the integrated intel 730, but thinking of the GTX 1050 if you feel it’ll be required
6. HDDs: 2-4 to start with, but eventually 8x 20TB WD Ultrastar HDDs
7. OS - FreeNas, with a windows VM if feasible
8. PSU - HELP - I’ve basically modelled this as a DIY version of the Qnap TVS h874 with a better motherboard and more ram.. the Qnap only uses a 250W power supply but I’m thinking this is nowhere near enough?

Questions / Issues:

1. How important is ECC Ram? Not sure how much of it is marketing and how much is legit… I‘ve read that it isn’t supported on intel consumer Level chipsets and processors, but that it is on AMD… is it worth going back to the drawing board to see what i can build with AMD instead just for this support? It will likely be a fair bit more expensive for an equivalent config (~$100 or so) - I live in india so while i have access to parts, prices can vary wildly.
2. How do i figure out whether my motherboard can support SAS? I can shortlist by 6Gb/s SATA ports, but nothing specified on SAS.. will i need a separate Pcle card or something? The cabinet supports SAS HDDs, but i can’t figure out how to check if any of the motherboards can.
3. Follow up - will SAS be worth it on my setup? What kind of performance increase can i expect? The mobo has 1x 2.5G Ethernet port
4. Is one 2.5G ethernet port enough? I know i can add another vie Pcle, but they’re pretty expensive, i think a 10G expansion slot costs as much as my processor :/
5. For the love of god, someone help me choose a PSU, I’m lost AF .. is it enough if i just filter by number of SATA drives it can power (8) and leave it at that? What wattage will i need? I’d like to plan ahead and include power for a graphics card (GTX 1050 or similar), but other than that nothing.
6. what filesystem do i use? I‘ve read that ZFS is great, but can i use ext4? The only reason I’m considering this is because of what i saw on the Qnap QTS os - the ability to add HDDs to the pool afterwards - I wont be able to afford all 8 drives at once, I’d ideally like to start with 2 and build my way up from there, but with ZFS that isn’t an option unless i create raid1 pools or something.. is ext4 and the addition of drives to the pool even an option with freeNAS?
7. How real is the strain or stress involved in re-creating a pool in the event of a single drive failure? A lot of videos on the subject make it sound like the stress involved in recreating the pool can in itself cause another drive to fail … is this actually likely or more like a small possibility? Additionally, will a raid5 on a 8x array put more stress / likelihood of failure than a raid 5 on a 4x array? Basically, does increasing the size of the (single) pool from 4 to 8 make raid5 an unwise choice? I’m maybe considering (very very $$) starting out with 1 pool of 4 in raid5 and then adding another pool of 4 in raid5 in a year or so, making 2x pools of 4x drives in raid5.. $ aside, would this be better, worse, or equivalent to 8 drives in raid6?
8. How many additional NVMe / SATA SSDs do i need? I’ve read people talking about not just boot drives, but also cache drives and arch(?).. can someone please recommend how much of each I’ll need, and what this arch? type is? Can i get a larger one and partition it, or do I have to use different physical drives?
9. Is Unraid a better choice than freenas?

​
PLEASE feel free to tweak / modify my proposed build, I’m not really married to any of this and its been more than a decade since i built a PC.. cost is a factor but i also want this to be something i don’t have to touch for at least a few years, so please let me know what you think
​
Thanks in advance, I’m in your hands!

I [20f] and my boyfriend [20m], have been together for almost 4 years now (eachothers firsts). Everythings been always great for us relationship wise, except... sex.
Lets start at the begining of everything. I'll label each section so you can skip, as I'm sure this will be a long post. There's a TL;DR at the end.
------------------------------PREFACE---------------------------------
Don't know if this matters for anything, but I'll put here that he started getting off aged 9/10, and was about as sexed up as a 16 year old guy is at this point in our relationship. And I had only just started getting off at 15, and have never had a good connetion between arousal and getting off. I guess it's a lot easier to ignore when you don't have a penis sticking out. To put this in perspective, I basically got off at a rate of maybe once every 3 weeks, and that didn't change when we started dating (have been informed by friends that I should have been more horny and be getting off more given the fact I'd just started dating someone).
Things were, as they still are, going great with all aspects of our relationship. We were enjoying heavily making out round secluded corners of the school, and all normal teenage stuff, and as things progressed further, I started getting him off.
Now, my boyfriend, has always been a very competitive guy, and just can't accept defeat, and I, due to several reasons, have quite large self-esteem issues. So at this point, things naturally started going a bit downhill.
He'd try touch me, and get me off (very goal orientated person, hadn't realised at this point that sex was more than just orgasm, blaming porn for this), and get quite upset with himself after 5-10mins of trying. I'm lying there, trying my hardest, having no idea why it doesn't feel the way it does when I do it, trying to offer occasional suggestions which he'd get upset at. Spent almost everytime we had some form of sex consoling him and calming him down afterwards. He sounds like a dick at this point, but I've honestly forgiven him for everything, as prefaced before, we were eachothers firsts, and I can guess how it can become a frustrating thing after you've tried for the umpteenth time and still can't get your girl to orgasm, and we had an excellent relationship outside this.
Then comes lockdown, he's getting off like, 20 times a day (yes, a problem, yes, we delt with it quickly), missing me and sex, and I'm just feeling incredibly inferior and like I can't keep up at all (after all, aren't women meant to be able to come more times per men? At least my thoughts during the time), super low self esteem, every time we'd clandenstinely see eachother, I'd just focus all my attention to him in an effort to sate him a little, and not let him anywhere near me in terms of pleasure, worrying about him getting upset and annoyed and me feeling worse.
As follows, losing my virginity was pretty much an accident, I gave him permission to finger me, he misunderstood and thought I'd let him fuck me, and the rest is history.
Spent that entire summer in a horrible sex spiral, of which he was completely oblivious, and then the straw that broke the camels back was when he was fingering me (actually, something he did really well, only way he could touch me and give me pleasure, did it quite rarely though), and then proceeded to start putting a finger in my arse as well - something I'd expressly told him it was off limits, and never wanted him to do (just don't like it, haven't had any previous bad experiences, but was a hard no for me). I got up without a word, and went home.
Next few weeks of him (finally), understand what he did was wrong, me explaining how I felt throughout our entire relationship so far in terms of sex, him clearing up his act, promising to be better (stopping getting off so often...). I finally decided to give it another go after a few weeks and we took things really slowly from there.
------------------------------------------------------
He still struggled to make me come, but at least was very gentle about it, constantly asked for tips for improvement, constantly researching and trying out new things, was incredibly gentle towards me and sex in general, and always seemed eager to give me pleasure first, himself later. Took me another year, but, finally got me to orgasm, and it was a massive weight off both our shoulders.
However...
I feel like this whole experience really scarred me. 3.5 years down the line, I still don't want him to touch me. I shy away from all forms of sex, and he asks all the time to pleasure me, touch me. I ask what he wants and he only ever replies with that he wants to give me pleasure, and I just don't want to let him. My inhibitions only drop away when I get really aroused (ie, quite close to orgasm at this point), and straight after orgasm (guess I'm still high on floaty hormones), at which point I love him touching me etc. I do get some pleasure from pleasuring him/him being in me but I can't come from that.
I also feel that, being a female, I can never really 'tell' if I'm aroused. Would love to here other womens perspectives on this. I feel like men have it some much easier with the pointy thing. He always tries so hard to kiss me, caress me etc, and I often find my thoughts wondering and wanting to do something else (like I said, I only get into sex when I'm fairly near orgasm). I should put here that I'm really good at turning him on- can get him from 0-ready in about 15-20seconds, but then again he has a very high libido (feverently wants sex just an hour or 2 after we've had sex, he tones it down a lot and I think hopes I don't notice but I do)
Some people have suggested I'm asexual, but I disagree. I fairly enjoy getting off, and we do sometimes have great sex. Usually the great sex stems from something that means we really shouldn't be having sex (eg, we've had an argument, and I've asked for a few days to calm down), I feel like I can't stop finding him sexy then, and trying to turn him on and drive him wild, and then, ofc we end up having some form of sex, keep saying we'll stop, but we don't end up stopping till we've both come - I feel like the lack of weight of expectation for me really helps in these scenarios.
I just want everything to stop and find some way to actually enjoy sex. I'm so desperate that I've even started dreaming that I find some magical way to cure me. We're getting married in September, and I just can't accept the fact that we haven't delt with this yet, even though it's been such a long time.
We're both really demoralised by this, and we've tried absolutely everything (sans sex therapy, which we've gotten in contact with someone about). He's just so so eager to help and give me pleasure and I just want to go away and I just feel very disgusting throughout it all. I've gotten to the point where I want to cry at any mention of sex and want to avoid it at all costs, and he's getting more and more depressed at everything, hates himself for what happened right at the start, and is slowly losing the will for sex, knowing it'll just end up badly.
We're reaching the endpoint in this. We both love each other very much, and it hurts we still can't get this right.
What should we do?
TL;DR: Boyfriend struggled to make me come, and made me feel bad about it without meaning to, internalised it and despite being in a much better place sexually now, I can never accept any pleasure from my boyfriend, and we're both getting very upset over this now. It's been almost 4 years now. What should we do?

Hello,
I started a new job as a Data Analyst (BI) which increasingly feels like a support role. Daily job only includes resolving support tickets to fix errors etc in existing dashboards (which can be non-rewarding work due to messy db structure and zero documentation). There appears to be no report development or similar work in near future, and this has been the case in the past according to team members.
I wanted to ask if this is normal/expected in similar roles? In my previous role I was more involved in report building (which I like), which led to me thinking the new job would be the same.
Thanks everyone

So I think we all feel that it's gotten a little harder this Season. Adding 4 extra accomplices, no matter how good they may be has definitely made drafting that little harder. And the wiki still hasn't even updated beyond noting that the guide is outdated. So let's share what we've learned so far.
Simple overview:

1. Progress is still the same as last time.
   
2. Elusiveness is the same as a timer, though it's effect on your power has been decoupled into...
   
3. ...Poison resist which is what reduces the potency of your attacks. Can't tell how they build up, I think it just selects randomly in your grace period. Then both build up late game.
   
4. Poison prep, changed type so it's singular or w/e it's called instead of pyramidical(?) where they count CP.
   

New accomplices:
4 new accomplices, 2 watchful, 1 dangerous, 1 persuasive.
Haven't used Persuasive yet, the Dangerous one is pretty okay, and the 2 Watchful, one of them is pretty damned good and the other one pairs with it well, though I probably wouldn't use it solo.
Simple tiering:
S-tier:
Roots: For it's ability which never changed, it's still your reliable finisher. It used to ignore Elusiveness, now it ignores Resist.
A-tier:
Loins: For when you have 2 otherwise good but not great accomplices and you can't pick Roots for your 3rd, then this at least lets you reroll if you pick something that's bad at the current stage of the game.
Skin: It has an easy Watchful check that gives you 2 Poison Prep per action. For example, I'm getting 90%+ success rates at 245 Watchful when I'm building for Dangerous instead. Means it's easily paired with any accomplice that needs loads of Prep.
Teeth: Still very powerful early game before Resist comes in. You can still probably hit up to 5 Progress before any of the maluses come in with a little luck, becomes less useful if you cannot easily buildup Prep, but with Skin, you can keep it useful to the endgame. Or with Loins you can reroll.
Outdated strategy:
Spines/Livers/Roots: This used to give me near perfect win rates. But now it becomes a little bit of a crapshoot. Going by how the new cards feel, I think it's literally been powercrept by the new cards. Skin is literally Livers, but better.
Useful strategies: I.e. the ones I've won a whole Run with.
Roots/Teeth/Loins: An oldie but a goodie. Teeth early, Roots late. Loins to reroll when you have no cards to play. Literally the same strength this Season as in last Season.
Skin/Roots/Other Watchful: Skin builds up Prep, the other Watchful uses that prep, and Roots to finish off at the end since it can keep ahead of Elusiveness and is unaffected by Resist.
Skin/Loins/Ribs: I'm at 5/5 currently in a Run, haven't finished it yet though. And it feels pretty good. Loins for reroll, Skin to build prep, it has a high 90% chance for the easy watchful challenge even though I'm building for dangerous. Ribs to spend those prep. Ribs' cards need only 4 Prep, so I just play Skin twice and I can start attacking. Don't know if Ribs scale with Prep, the actual cards doesn't mention it, can't remember if the choosing accomplice part does.
Theoretical builds: I.e. these should work in theory.
Skin/Teeth/Ribs: Teeth to chunk early, Skin to build Prep then you can fire Ribs later. Not sure how powerful Ribs actually is though.
Skin/Roots/X: With X being a King-tier unit. Skin to easily build prep and Roots to finish with X chunking when you can.

“The man was a fucking genius” were the headlines all over the county after his case was thrown out of court. I was one of the 140 witnesses that saw him walk up to the alter and rip the priests throat out with his teeth. I tried to save him along with 8 others, but by the time we dragged him off Father Jack Crowley, he was dead.
He didn’t put up a fight either, he just stood there quietly humming to himself like he was waiting for an elevator. It only took minutes for the first cop car to get there, and by the time they put him in handcuffs, two more had arrived. But as calm as he was, he would not budge from that alter, well, not until he said what he had to say.
After clearing his throat, he said, “ ” in a gentle tone.
“Ohhhs” were heard coming from every corner of the church as everyone looked at each other nodding in agreement.
“Let him go” an elderly woman could be heard shouting from the crowd, followed by, “Yeah! He's clearly innocent" from one of the altar boys, soon everyone was chanting, “LET HIM GO, LET HIM GO” including me. We nearly caused a riot that night as they put him in the back of that cop car.
The following morning the police department released a statement apologizing for taking him into custody and promised that they were only following protocol.
In the 8 months he spent in prison waiting for his trial, not one word did he speak, he just sat in his cell quietly humming. Even when the trial started and all the gory details were given, he wasn’t bothered, his eyes were just wandering around the courtroom blankly as he patiently waited for his moment to speak.
“There is no point in going up there” his lawyer could be heard whispering in his ear, “It's an open and shut case, your guilty and everyone knows it.” But he just smiled and walked proudly up to the stand.
He didn’t say anything at first, just stood there, head raised with that smug grin on his face, his lawyer didn’t ask any questions either, nor did the prosecutor, he didn’t need to.
When he finally opened his mouth and spoke, his words were so beautiful that even the judge had tears in his eyes, “It seems poor Father Jack was not the only victim that night” the judge whimpered, “your clearly an innocent man” of course the 12 jurors agreed and soon after the world, when he made his statement to the tv reporters outside.
Now 2 years later no one cares about the midnight trial or the president's shadowy past, he is our leader, our master and always will be.

Forgive me if this is the wrong sub to seek advice for this but:
Gearing up to tile my first shower in the near future. I would like to do this right & keep things simple. I’m planning to use foam backer board (Durabase XPS 1/2”) to mitigate any potential for leaks.
My options for seams & screw holes are urethane adhesive via caulk gun application or seam tape & waterproofing membrane.
I’m leaning towards the urethane sealant with caulk gun just for ease of install.
Wondering what the pros & cons for either method are or if anyone with experience could offer any tips before tackling this DIY.
Also if anyone knows any more affordable/comparable products to the Kerdi-Fix joint sealer tubes which are $30+. Assuming I’ll need a few of them.
Thanks in advance.

Hi everyone!
I was wondering if anyone has experienced something similar and has any tips what to do?
Due to skyrocketing energy prices last fall, I had deactivated my Swimspa and emptied it completely.
Now, that I‘ve reactivated it, there is something off with the seat jets on the one side of the spa: It used to add air to both massage speeds, now it only does so on speed number two.
It also seems to have a bit less power as speed setting 2 used to send my wife out of the seat, whilst now it only slightly massages. Nearly feels like speed 2 has become what speed 1 was.
Has anyone experienced something like this or is there a clue, what to check?
I have an Alps Spas Matterhorn Swim Spa if that helps.
Also, I am going mad, trying to get new „pillows“ for the corners - everyone just sends me tiny ones that don‘t fit , so I‘d also be grateful for any tips on where to check.
Thanks in advance for any help or tips on these issues!